If startup world is the Garden of Eden, then an invitation to “catch up over lunch” is the serpent carrying the Forbidden Fruit

A lot of times, lunch meetings are not overly useful and can be more of an excuse to skip-out on working for a bit (and, possibly, have a few drinks).

However, if both parties can stay focussed, the laid-back nature of the meeting can loosen the environment, which may be helpful to align both parties.

Like the Original Sin metaphor, the laid back environment can also set a trap, so let’s look into ways to make sure a lunch meeting is not a disaster.

For this article, e27 interviewed David Fallarme, the HubSpot Head of Marketing for Southeast Asia and India as well as Lennise Ng, the Co-founder and CEO of Dropee.

Here are the key takeaways.

Keep up the due diligence

Most people, when they know they are about to walk into a boardroom filled with a dozen stern faces, understand they need to be at the top of their game. However, when it comes to a meeting over food and coffee, it can seem like a break from work, and the preparation is lacking.

Fallarme says it is important to understand the other person’s motivations. What is the goal of the meeting? What do they want? And, knowing this, how can you provide value?

He explained that it is important to understand how this person is viewed by their boss, and understanding that, offered a golden piece of advice.

“Think about how the partnership can make them look like the smartest person in the world. Then figure out how you can align with them,” he said. 

If the person is a friend, put a disclaimer on the meeting.

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In every industry in the history of business, colleagues become friends. This can make a meeting over food and coffee feel more like hanging out on the weekend.

However, it is not, and for the vast majority of people, accomplishing nothing means a scolding from the boss. So how can someone prevent the best-of-intentions accidentally falling into a story-swapping gathering.
Ng suggested starting with a disclaimer to get the business talk out of the way in the beginning.

“However, you really got to be flexible in your approach as it ultimately depends on who you are talking to. You should understand your friend’s character in dealing with business then go with the flow on that,” she said.

Ng added that if the friend requested the meeting, let them set the flow.

Lunch meetings with a subordinate provide a bonding opportunity

Both Ng and Fallarme highlighted these moments as an opportunity to drop the “boss mode” and reach out to employees on a human-to-human level.

“If you start from a place of sincere curiosity, any conversation will be pleasant, informative and useful. This applies to everything from team lunches, elevator small talk or tense post-mortem meetings,” said Fallarme.

Ng said lunch meetings can be a nice opportunity for team bonding. It is not quite as loose as an after-hours get together, but it can help build a bond with work-related matters.

Typically, after work, people try to avoid talking about the office. In a lunch meeting, work is still on the table, so the meeting can help reveal problems or issues that need to be fixed.

If the meeting is the Big Boss, it is a learning opportunity

If the top dog of the company invites you to lunch, first, do some due diligence as to why they are making the request.

Assuming it is a good-faith lunch, it is an immense opportunity to learn from a superior. This person is giving you their time — and doing so assuming the meeting will last at least an hour.

So, it’s important to be humble, but also prepared. Figure out how much information you would like to share (no, this is not a marriage, it is OK to keep things private). Try to pick out a couple of items you would like to discuss.

Most importantly, consciously (and continuously) remind yourself to listen. As the saying goes, “God gave us two ears and one mouth so we can listen twice as much as we speak”. This is a good setting to use this mantra.

When it comes to alcohol, lean ‘No’, but it can be a soft No

Alcohol often enters the picture during a lunch meeting. Both Ng and Fallarme said the default answer should be ‘No’ but it is acceptable to gauge the situation.

Typically, it is always best to let the ‘leader’ decide. If he/she orders a glass of wine, it is probably ok to do so yourself. (Sometimes, this is more about financials than social acceptance).

“If you’re in Bora Bora having a lunch business meeting, of course you are likely to order an alcoholic drink. But if you’re in Bora Bora and having a lunch meeting with a religious individual, then of course alcohol is not an option,” said Ng.

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Finally, if you do order a drink, stop at one. 2-3 drinks can lead to loose lips which may be problematic after the meeting is over.

One tip from Fallarme and Ng

Ng:

“Visualise and play how the lunch meeting will take place beforehand in your mind. From there, you’re able to mentally prep yourself better.”

Fallarme:

“Before a coffee meeting or a lunch meeting really kicks off, check when the other person has to go. I have found this useful for several reasons: it signals that you respect their time and it imposes a soft “time limit” on your meeting which helps you get to the point.”

And there you have it, everything you need to know to rock your next lunch meeting.

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Disclosure: This article is produced by e27 content marketing, sponsored by WeWork.

For enquiries on WeWork membership and site tour, visit their website.

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